Lucidity Now

I could sleep for a week. No, make it two. Two weeks. Fatigue is a nice way of explaining how exhausted I am right now. Been runnin' on fumes now these past couple days... just trying to get to a weekend that promises to finish me off. Seems that way.

When you look back on any given year, hopefully you notice the peaks and valleys that run through it—emotionally. As much as I like things easy and calm and as often as I'd like to claim that drama has no place other than the stage—life will lean towards a nice medley of everything. But this year, it seems very compressed. Lots of drama, lots of love, lots of thrills, lots of anxiety, and lots of living all happening at an incredible rate... And it's not even February.

This post seems horribly angsty and that's not what I'm going for. Overall, this week was good. Directing the show is coming along. It'll be better with each day as me and my cast grow together on this production. I'm really getting a sense for how I want this show to play out, but my actors are giving so much that it's wonderful to find something I didn't think about in their interpretations. I told them when we started—theatre is collaborative. The playwright, the director, the actors, the sound design, the costumes, the set, the lighting... it's all crucial. And I'm enjoying the challenge of wrangling it all.

The stress this week stems from something that happened a few weeks back. I didn't mention it on the blog until now because I was hoping it would right itself and I could forget what happened. What happened is: I was driving to my folks' for Christmas when I got slammed from behind while sitting at a red-light. To make it all the more "fun", the van that hit me drove off. A "hit-skip" is what the police report called it. Now, insurance took care of most of this and from what I know, the other guy's insurance is gonna reimburse everything—and yet, stress. Mostly 'cos I have to buy a new car now. Wasn't prepared to buy a new car. Wanted to—who doesn't? But that was a notion, not hard determination to replace an old friend. I'd had my car for 11 years. Got me through high school, then college, went with me when I drove across the U.S.—twice. You get comfortable with things. Even cars. I mean, some people name them. Technically, I named mine Tuck. Yeah, blashphemy really, to engender a car with a masculine personality, but whatever. Now boats... those are girls. And so are some cars. My car was never pretty enough to be a girl and I treated him more like a buddy than a lady. So there you go.

But like I said, the year is full of ups and downs. And the ups are good. A new car will be nice. "Darkside" is gonna rock (this I vow). And Lucidity and I just made some travel plans. For several trips this year (we're being proactive with our down time—which is kind of antithetical to relaxing, but trust us, it works). I cannot wait to see her tonight. Our schedules have kept apart for a week and when you live in the same city and still feel like you're dating long-distance... I have had only a few simple thoughts on my brain today to get me from the house to work and then back home. The rest of me thinks only of her today. I mean, whenever I get stressed, all I need to do is picture being with this beautiful, sunset-haired Goddess that I'm so lucky to be with—just like that. Things are looking up. More to post later.