Sweet Oblivion, Open Your Arms

Some things I learned over the weekend:
—The universe is funny. But then, of course, we knew that.
—Mocking a stomach ache (even your own) is like inviting pygmies to dance naked in your small intentines; may as well shout, "Hey! Pygmies! Up for a dance party, how about..." (sigh).... I can't even finish the sentence.
—Bathrooms should come equipped with special receptacles for when the toilet just isn't enough for you; and I don't mean a trash bin... I'm talkin' built-into-the-wall- made-for-this-kind-of-emergency- Linda-Blair-certified-frackin'-receptacle.
—No matter how hydrated you think you are, you're not hydrated enough.
—In a crisis, my friends take at least 5 seconds to process anything that is happening.
—They also clean house and take lots of pictures.
—Lucidity was either a paramedic in a former life or maybe a war nurse; this woman isn't phased by anything.

Friday night began so incredibly well. Went to see "Darkside" again (shameless plug—ONE WEEK LEFT, GET YOU TICKETS NOW!), Lucidity and me. Had a "date night". Went to Raising Cane's for chicken fingers. So good. It's like eating fried sin. Yes, SIN. Fried. And dipped in a sauce that seriously makes me reconsider my whole life goal of being a professional writer so that I can concentrate on opening a franchise. I digress... So, off we rushed from this bastion of fried chicken and texas toast to the theater, making our usual last minute entrance and taking our seats in the back as the lights dimmed. The show: awesome. In fact, the night was heading toward all levels of amazingness.

As the show ended, Panda, his girl Jen and his sis, Liesl, were picking up J.Vlo from the airport just 20 minutes away... all ready to rendezvous with me, Lucidity, and Zubov. A great night was ahead. The fun. The merriment. The reunion style weekend. There would be pizza and late night chats and then a weekend packed with awesomeness.

OHHH wait... yeah, that's not how it went down. That was part of the weekend that never was. My friends did, in fact, arrive. And there was a rendezvous. But by the time we reached them, I was—feelin' wonky.

Another ten minutes, and I was fracked.

I'll spare you the gruesome details of my adventures this weekend. I shall not burden you with images that would make you want to claw out your own eyes. But I will share a few of the highlights that helped put some icing on this cake of a weekend. Like how the men's room at the St. Ann's Hospital ER has no soap or paper towels. Seriously. Or how I've been put off Snickers Candy Bars for quite a while due to recent events. Or how fruit flavored oral rehydration solution—not tasty.

And then there were some great things. Like how my friends (once they realized I had more than an upset tummy that needed something other than mocking) came together and took amazing care of me. Cleaned up my house. They managed to entertain themselves and were sure to tease me as good friends should, both after and during the ordeal. They still had their vacation and took a detailed photojournal so that I could share in it later. It helped that in between rounds, I could hear them downstairs. They sounded like they had some fun. And they were nice enough to keep Lucidity from going stir crazy by pulling her away from the quarantine zone (a.k.a. "my room") every once in a while.

And let's just take a second to talk about Lucidity. I mean—this is one fantastic woman. To keep watch over me as my insides were basically melting out of me—sorry, I promised no images. She is a beautiful, wonderful, powerful, loving, soulful, nuturing, brave, and downright sexy goddess. And that alone helped make me feel better throughout all of this.

Listen to me. You'd think I'd survived the unsurvivable. In fact, most of my pals at some point or another have gotten some form of this bug. And there are posts all over about the same thing.

So let's move this post onto something a little more random and less nauseating. Like the ocean. Okay, not totally random. I mean, we all know about the Ocean. But this spring, I'm taking Zubov to see the one that graces the Eastern shores of this land—word has it, he's never been. And I think every person should see the ocean. At least once.

Puts things in perspective. Don't know how or why, but when I visit the ocean... it's like serenity. Helps me to remember why I do what I do and makes me work harder to do the things I haven't.

I miss the ocean. Used to live 20 minutes from one (well, an hour and half in traffic—damn 134) and I never really appreciated that the Pacific was roaring against my doorstep until I moved away from it. Now, a trip to see an ocean takes planning, money, time, coordinating Google Calendars. All it took then was less than a gallon of gas and an afternoon of my time.

Of course, I haven't seen the Atlantic in a long time either. Only seen it a few times actually, now that I think about it. Rode in a plane over it, twice. Watched a sunrise crest its horizon once. That was serenity. Sure, we have sunrises here. And they are beautiful. But standing on the Eastern shore, seeing that ball of fire rise up over the ocean... makes you feel like you're the first person to witness the dawn—first one there to greet the new day... makes you feel alive.